"If everyone had to do what you're going to do to have a kid, the world population would be MUCH lower." ~ my favorite quote from our agency's orientation session
Yes, I know. "Favorite" is a strange word choice in this context, but let me explain...
Now, this could just mean that I'm losing it (insert clever confirmatory quip from Doug *here*). However, in my view, it's strangely comforting to hear the hard truths - yes, they're painful at first, but eventually they usher in this sense of comforting clarity. As a self-proclaimed control freak, clarity is my friend...best friend to be exact.
Well, I wanted clarity, and clarity I got...in a tidal wave of information in April. After completing our "pre-application" with Generations Adoptions, we attended a half-day orientation where they essentially laid out the road map along Adoption Avenue. At some point during that afternoon, I thought, "Shazam! Avenue? What Avenue? This is more like a mix master through rush hour traffic!!" (Note: my internal monologue is the voice of Gomer Pyle from The Andy Griffith Show. That's me on the right there...)
Adoption Avenue/Freeway has a plethora of signs, signals, and lanes that, at first, we just had to take time to absorb and then decipher. Everyone travels down the freeway differently. Here's a little glimpse into what our journey has looked like thus far and will continue to entail...
Step 1: Agencies, agencies, agencies...
First up: choosing an agency (or in the case of some couples, several agencies). We were rather shocked to discover how differently the road looks depending upon the agency you choose: different fees, different policies, different values and philosophies. It's really pretty amazing. As I mentioned, we eventually settled on Generations Adoptions based out of good ol' Waco, Texas (more about "Why Generations?" in a future post).
I look back on this phase with so much fondness. Through personal connections of various degrees, several wonderful adoptive families opened their homes and hearts to us to share their stories, give helpful advice about choosing an agency, and lift us up in prayer. At this point, we also began to share more with friends and family like you and were even surprised to find that some of our closest friends and colleagues were adopted as infants and children. Rarely does the phrase, "you think you know someone..." end on a high note, but, in this case, these were happy surprises.
And with completing Step 1, I was finally excited. Truly EXCITED. Phew, I just teared up writing that...how precious are our blessings? And how little time we take to reflect on them, to revel in them and give thanks?
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Deuteronomy 31:6)
Step 2: Paperwork, paperwork, paperwork...
Each family makes choices here that are right for them. There is no right, no wrong. Just choices...and the reality that comes with those choices. In the simplest terms, the more boxes you check on this form, the more moms you are compatible with, and therefore eligible for matching [though, it's a lot more complicated than that].
But one thing is for certain: NOW things are getting real.
Step 3: A few more hoops to jump through...
In addition to a lot of paperwork, there are several inspections, classes, and our home study that must be approved before we're ultimately "approved" for adoption. Right now, we're prepping for our fire inspection. That's right, the McNamee Casa is going to be Smokey the Bear's favorite urban retreat before it's all said and done. Doug's really excited about fire safety (Campbell apparently is not)...
You're looking at a brand new "fire spark guard" and an A-1 Fire & Security approved fire extinguisher, folks. No need for stop, drop, and roll in this house. We've got you covered.
After that, we'll move onto the environmental inspection which entails fun stuff like baby-proofing your doors, cabinets, and stairs (or multiple stairs in the case of our "charming" old home - note: "charming" is code for annoying). Good times. Then, we'll take a thrilling childcare class where we'll learn to give a baby a bottle and put him/her in a car seat...because people with Ph.Ds often don't know how to put a small human being in a seat and click the belt...good thing we all listen when the flight attendants unveil that trick for us pre-flight (whoops, Gomer Pyle's gone...now Sarcasm Queen is coming out. Sorry).
After all that, we'll be just a hop, skip, and a jump away from...
Step 4: Eligible for the baby draft!
I love my husband always, but sometimes I really, really like him - I mean, the guy can be downright funny. How does Doug compare being "officially approved" for adoption? Oh yeah, to a professional sports draft....
It's actually a pretty spot on analogy. We could go in the first round. We could go in the fifteenth round. Either way, still means we're awesome...just need to find a team that can appreciate us for our undiscovered potential. Hopefully our experience will be less this...
...and more this:
The McNamees will hopefully be eligible for the baby draft in early September. We'll keep you posted. What happens after we're "drafted"? Coming up in the next post...
****************
Yes, I know. "Favorite" is a strange word choice in this context, but let me explain...
Now, this could just mean that I'm losing it (insert clever confirmatory quip from Doug *here*). However, in my view, it's strangely comforting to hear the hard truths - yes, they're painful at first, but eventually they usher in this sense of comforting clarity. As a self-proclaimed control freak, clarity is my friend...best friend to be exact.
Well, I wanted clarity, and clarity I got...in a tidal wave of information in April. After completing our "pre-application" with Generations Adoptions, we attended a half-day orientation where they essentially laid out the road map along Adoption Avenue. At some point during that afternoon, I thought, "Shazam! Avenue? What Avenue? This is more like a mix master through rush hour traffic!!" (Note: my internal monologue is the voice of Gomer Pyle from The Andy Griffith Show. That's me on the right there...)
Adoption Avenue/Freeway has a plethora of signs, signals, and lanes that, at first, we just had to take time to absorb and then decipher. Everyone travels down the freeway differently. Here's a little glimpse into what our journey has looked like thus far and will continue to entail...
Step 1: Agencies, agencies, agencies...
First up: choosing an agency (or in the case of some couples, several agencies). We were rather shocked to discover how differently the road looks depending upon the agency you choose: different fees, different policies, different values and philosophies. It's really pretty amazing. As I mentioned, we eventually settled on Generations Adoptions based out of good ol' Waco, Texas (more about "Why Generations?" in a future post).
I look back on this phase with so much fondness. Through personal connections of various degrees, several wonderful adoptive families opened their homes and hearts to us to share their stories, give helpful advice about choosing an agency, and lift us up in prayer. At this point, we also began to share more with friends and family like you and were even surprised to find that some of our closest friends and colleagues were adopted as infants and children. Rarely does the phrase, "you think you know someone..." end on a high note, but, in this case, these were happy surprises.
And with completing Step 1, I was finally excited. Truly EXCITED. Phew, I just teared up writing that...how precious are our blessings? And how little time we take to reflect on them, to revel in them and give thanks?
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Deuteronomy 31:6)
Step 2: Paperwork, paperwork, paperwork...
Well, I'll be honest. The excitement is still there, but it certainly is tempered in Step 2. This is where you begin to remind yourself that planning a family, at least for you, will be a marathon not a sprint (and also where you try really hard not to watch MTV's "16 and Pregnant" - you'll just resort to cursing a lot if you do).
We've spent the summer doing a lot of this:
Here's a little sampling of some of my favorite items from the "Checklist for Adoptive Families" - and my internal dialogue upon reviewing them (in Gomer Pyle's voice):
We've spent the summer doing a lot of this:
Here's a little sampling of some of my favorite items from the "Checklist for Adoptive Families" - and my internal dialogue upon reviewing them (in Gomer Pyle's voice):
- felony affidavits (if applicable) [Yes! Got out of that one....though, good thing they clarified "if applicable." Doug was NOT going to be happy that we had to, first, go out and COMMIT a felony...and THEN wait around to get a copy of the affidavit]
- pet vaccination records [Shazam! Where are those records?? Let's just get rid of the dogs....that will be easier....wait...that's a little extreme. Lacy, time to take a break.]
- copy of savings and checking account statements [Gawww-leeee! Things are getting personal now! What's next? You need to see my sock drawer?]
- photograph documentation of each spouse's sock drawer [Ah, there it is.]
Oh, and what's that you say? You need to check the lint build-up in my dryer? Sure thing. And then the pantry to make sure we buy Post "Honey Bunches of Oats" and not that Wal-Mart knock-off "Golden Flakes of Goodness?" Check. Dental hygiene records to confirm that we floss daily? Check, check.
Okay, okay, so those last few aren't real (including the sock draw photos). At this point, though, it wouldn't phase us. Bring it on, bureaucracy. Bring. It. On.
In truth, those have been some of the easier tasks....tedious but not inherently difficult. Other checklist items weren't quite as cut-and-dry. For example, the "Type of Child Desired Form." Now that's a *fun* form to fill out. A sampling of items on that one - and some of the decisions we made for our family:
- Number of children you are interested in adopting at this time: 1-2 [Doug *thinks* two would be "awesome."...Lacy *thinks* Doug doesn't think things through sometimes]
- Race of children you are willing to consider: Amazingly enough, there are 8 boxes to potentially check mark here ~ we checked all of them.
- Please check types of drugs you would accept: Here, there's a smorgasbord to choose from in terms of birth mom's history of drug use before and during pregnancy ~ we've selected a mix of several that we will consider.
But one thing is for certain: NOW things are getting real.
Step 3: A few more hoops to jump through...
In addition to a lot of paperwork, there are several inspections, classes, and our home study that must be approved before we're ultimately "approved" for adoption. Right now, we're prepping for our fire inspection. That's right, the McNamee Casa is going to be Smokey the Bear's favorite urban retreat before it's all said and done. Doug's really excited about fire safety (Campbell apparently is not)...
You're looking at a brand new "fire spark guard" and an A-1 Fire & Security approved fire extinguisher, folks. No need for stop, drop, and roll in this house. We've got you covered.
After that, we'll move onto the environmental inspection which entails fun stuff like baby-proofing your doors, cabinets, and stairs (or multiple stairs in the case of our "charming" old home - note: "charming" is code for annoying). Good times. Then, we'll take a thrilling childcare class where we'll learn to give a baby a bottle and put him/her in a car seat...because people with Ph.Ds often don't know how to put a small human being in a seat and click the belt...good thing we all listen when the flight attendants unveil that trick for us pre-flight (whoops, Gomer Pyle's gone...now Sarcasm Queen is coming out. Sorry).
After all that, we'll be just a hop, skip, and a jump away from...
Step 4: Eligible for the baby draft!
I love my husband always, but sometimes I really, really like him - I mean, the guy can be downright funny. How does Doug compare being "officially approved" for adoption? Oh yeah, to a professional sports draft....
It's actually a pretty spot on analogy. We could go in the first round. We could go in the fifteenth round. Either way, still means we're awesome...just need to find a team that can appreciate us for our undiscovered potential. Hopefully our experience will be less this...
...and more this:
The McNamees will hopefully be eligible for the baby draft in early September. We'll keep you posted. What happens after we're "drafted"? Coming up in the next post...
